gaining weight

here is an experience...

You wake up in the middle of the night. "I am hungry. I feel empty like something is missing." You looked at the high calories milk tea with a smile. "If I drink this I will feel happy again, it is sweet and creamy and warm." You made yourself a big cup and you sat by your computer monitor. It is late now, no one is awake. You should study but you should eat. There is nothing to do if you eat you will get energy to do work. And you walk int the kitchen for round two of snacks. Passing by the restroom you look at yourself in the mirror. Is this really me? Smile! You will lose that weight in no time. Just stop eating. You can start doing stretches, push ups, and sit ups like you used to. The hours become days, the days become weeks and months. Look at your face. Why are there so many red bumps, is that a snout? Why? Do you feel heavy, full, disgusting? I don't care how you feel but you sure look at way to me. Why are you so big in photographs? Is that really your face and look at the acne. And you ran. You avoided mirrors. You continue drinking that powder milk tea drink and eating your midnight snacks. "But I am so hungry." Are you? Are you? Look at yourself and tell me you love how you look. Tell me love this. Tell me you are okay becoming this mess. I told you to wake up everyday with a smile and go run, laugh, and live your life. Why are you like this? You spent a majority of your days on the computer, eating, and sleeping. It is senior. It is time to meet friends hang out and be the best version of yourself. Why are you like this. Wake up! "I am trying to." Wake up! The pimples and the weight will go away but first you have to let of all your extra baggage. All the feelings. All the anger. You need to live and be the best version of yourself. Because two years from now you are going to better, prettier, and happier.