the little prince

in need of a replacement backpack?

http://www.jansport.com/shop/en/jansport-us/content/warranty

look u can get your jansport replaced. :)

(sorry about the overkill in posts. I am just bored. I don't want to study. and the weather is so gloomy)

p.s I should just go to starbucks and people watch err. study!

Dont forget

So I will be taking the 2015 mcat so I can apply to medical school summer 2016.
Don't forget to register Feb 2015.
calendar


Things to do/accomplish from now until summer 2016
1. fill out fap so I can get a discount (During winter break)
2. register for mcat in feb 2015
3. sign up for a mcat class/self study
4. obtain practice exams
5. study and get A's in my classes (refer to the four year plan excel sheet)
6. Don't forget to do research for mcdb elective. ask the postdoc about it this week?
7. Volunteer at a venice health clinic (winter 2015) don't forget to get the tb test results and do the training, and learn how to drive there. o: oh yeah. Did I mention my parents let me bring my car to school. yay
8. save money- lots of money
9. look for letter of recommendation
10. start volunteering for vch, do a little bit of everything.
11. study for the mcat
12. take the mcat
13. work on medschool app
14. apply

honestly i wish I was a better freshmen so I can apply to medical school end of junior year and not have to wait a year. booohoooo. but if I wait I will have a higher chance of getting accept. so yay?

Too Much Sleep = dry eyes

I woke up early this morning because I slept too early.  :O And now my eyes are dry. :P

They say the weather this week will be terrible. There will be lots of rain  (good thing I have an umbrella. Although it is almost 9am the sun seems to be barely rising. IT IS BEAUTIFUL>

Oh hey I found my bankcard. (I was looking outside my window). YAY money! umm not really. still need to work alot of hours this week and have enough money for rent. YAY


goal until the end of finals week. 600

so hungries

Here is a song

so cuteeeee

I went home for thanksgiving :)

So I went home this thanksgiving.

What I did this weekend.
1. eat lots of good food
2. take my little sister shopping. We bought basically the same thing but in different colors at pacsun (2 of each)
- Demin Joggers.
- http://www.pacsun.com/la-hearts/fur-hood-anorak-jacket-0760487100006.html?start=1&q=parka&dwvar_0760487100006_color=025 should have gotten size xs. but oh wellz
- tshirt
3. eat more good food
4. I did some studying
5. I email/text my professors, friends, co workers, etc. Happy Thanksgiving! Sadly I forgot to text the post doc I am working with. OOPS. Maybe for the christmas
6. I forgot to buy my secret santa a christmas gift
7. Had 3 allergies incident. I am seriously am allergic to dust. So short story made shorter: I was looking through my closet to look for winter clothes when it dust me. And let me tell you. I was miserable all night. Sneezing is exhausting you know.
8. I convinced my parents to let me bring my car to school.
9. funny observation: facebook free and for sale group has it own "black friday sale"
10. I didn't get to drive my car because I forgot my glasses.

last thought. why is my house so cold?

I stood there and stared

This piece is address to no one in particular. Interpret it as you will.

While walking home yesterday I noticed the lighted rooms of Ronald Reagan Regional hospital. Some of the rooms have "get well soon" balloons, some are lit, but most are dark and closed curtains.

How do you feel looking outside the window to see us students walking to and from school everyday, full of life and opportunities? Do you wish to be like us? Enjoying the winter breeze and scent of winter rain? We also can't sleep sometimes and we also skip meals- sometimes. In a way we all are going through the same emotions and experiences. The only difference is context.

How is studying related to being ill you might wonder? I don't leave my apartment much, sometimes I forget to eat, and most of the time I would stare outside my "window" and imagine what life would be like to be free and premed. Confined in your room, you must feel so alone because you feel like you are fighting your battles alone. Sure, there are doctors, nurses, and everyone else but most of the time it is just you. I feel the same way. Sure there are professors, ta, and friends but most of the time it is just me. No one can do the studying for me just like no one can win your battles for you. Between you and me you are already my hero and one day I wish to be yours.

While I stare at your hospital room, you were probably staring at me too. Both of us thinking: "one day I will be right where you are and one day I will tell you my story." One day I will be inside that hospital room to bring in the sunshine you missed out on, to tell you of the adventures of premed student, and why you are  so worth it. One day you will be here, telling me of your battles and how much it means to you to live my life and everyone else's life.

Socks for the Homeless

i was walking back today and i was so cold and I saw this lady sleeping on the pavement. and that makes me so sad
she didnt have any shoes or socks on and i wished I could do something to help her.

SO I made this. and got people to help me with my cause :)

Hello everyone!
As many of you all know, the weather lately has been pretty chilly and it will only get colder. I am starting a fundraiser to buy socks and blankets and to make care packages for the homeless of Westwood.

I plan to deliver the care packages starting Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday of finals week. If anyone wants to help me with this project, feel free to message me, comment, or sign up in this google doc. Thanks everyone!!!

P.S I will be selling homemade holiday greetings card if anyone is interested in buying. (You can also donate $ if you want)

midterm 2 for ls 4 today

Quick thought: I SO SCARED

Random thought: I wish I was smart like MarkZ's wife.

Insight of the month: For the first time in forever I am THAT afraid of people.

I made a youtube video!

My friend and I made a video. CHECK IT OUT!

Tomorrow is test day

So I did really bad on midterm 1. And tomorrow is midterm (I kinda overkill on studying). I hope I will be able to concentrate well and get a good score. Then my life is saved.

Life Science 4 is no joke. It so hard. :(

ads

So after months of having blogger. google finally allowed me to post "ads" on the page.
Don't worry. I am just really curious how people make money off google. It is not like I am actively looking for viewers. If you see something funny on the blog, just ignore it. It is just me experimenting and testing things out. :)

Connections

Let's talk about starbuckslovers. No not a real person. More like an idealistic generalized persona.

Before that, thanks for reading my blog.

Updates
1. remember how I had two research labs?
well one of the lab "fired" me because I was depressed and unable to work. o.o'' sad. Also said I am easily distracted. BUT I am a hard worker :(
so i have one lab now

2. I changed my major from physci to mcdb (molecular cellular developmental biology)
I only need to take 4 additional class because I am still doing research in lab A

3. I realized my hair looks like Korra. :)

4. deleted.

5. I am in the process of finding another job.
Why? To work and study more.

6. I am only taking one class now.
I have been studying lots.

7. I wanted to buy people also christmas gifts this year but I am in a 'recession' so everyone gets paper. Heck even the starbuckslovers will get a christmas card this year. WINNING!

8. I have been eating way too many sweets. now I feel like I have to go the dentist :(
----

About the starbuckslovers.
refer to #4.

I reinstalled spotify

I remember I used to listen to spotify everyday for a year +. It helped a lot. Because I don't want to associate myself with those memories, I deleted a majority of my playlist. Yeah. Well now is a good opportunity for me to begin a entirely new playlist that would define the current 2014 me.

Would it be cool to have a playlist of songs that reminds me of a current person, theme, whatever?

Let's try that.

One playlist I want to experiment with is titled

starbuckslovers (yeah totally Taylor Swifties)

your education is worth more than these earrings

Summer is over and fall is approaching. 

There is a time in our lives when we are broke. Let's write this story in the perspective of a mother.

outline

1. kids are going back to school

2. in need of a new backpack

3. in need of school supplies

4. no money

5. in need of back to school clothes

6. want kids to fit in

7. sold jewerly 

8. take kid shopping to buy whatever they need for school

9.  kids so happy

10. we not poor again jk

i should have not taken those stuff for granted. :(

Summer is over and fall is approaching. My kids will be in school in a couple of days.

i believe

that I can do well in ls4 and end up getting a really good grade.

I will teach you how to smile

SMILE.

gaining weight

here is an experience...

You wake up in the middle of the night. "I am hungry. I feel empty like something is missing." You looked at the high calories milk tea with a smile. "If I drink this I will feel happy again, it is sweet and creamy and warm." You made yourself a big cup and you sat by your computer monitor. It is late now, no one is awake. You should study but you should eat. There is nothing to do if you eat you will get energy to do work. And you walk int the kitchen for round two of snacks. Passing by the restroom you look at yourself in the mirror. Is this really me? Smile! You will lose that weight in no time. Just stop eating. You can start doing stretches, push ups, and sit ups like you used to. The hours become days, the days become weeks and months. Look at your face. Why are there so many red bumps, is that a snout? Why? Do you feel heavy, full, disgusting? I don't care how you feel but you sure look at way to me. Why are you so big in photographs? Is that really your face and look at the acne. And you ran. You avoided mirrors. You continue drinking that powder milk tea drink and eating your midnight snacks. "But I am so hungry." Are you? Are you? Look at yourself and tell me you love how you look. Tell me love this. Tell me you are okay becoming this mess. I told you to wake up everyday with a smile and go run, laugh, and live your life. Why are you like this? You spent a majority of your days on the computer, eating, and sleeping. It is senior. It is time to meet friends hang out and be the best version of yourself. Why are you like this. Wake up! "I am trying to." Wake up! The pimples and the weight will go away but first you have to let of all your extra baggage. All the feelings. All the anger. You need to live and be the best version of yourself. Because two years from now you are going to better, prettier, and happier.

footsteps

I am not asking you to run. Just walk.
I will slow you down. My pace is too slow.
I will slow down.
You know I am kind of clumsy.
Just be careful and watch your steps.
Trying.
Where you go?
...
                                                    ____ Where you go?
                                                        _____
                                                            ______Where you go?
                                                                   ______
                                                                       ______ Where you go?
                                                                            o+<  I am right here.
I worry about you sometimes.
Sorry.
I am sorry too.

cooking rice

How do you cook rice? First you pour some rice into the pot and you wash the rice. I remember how you would take forever to wash each grain of rice. "The water needs to drain clear," you said. Scrub Scrub. Rice against palms. Palms against rice. How do you cook rice? You add water to the clean rice- from the top of the rice to the first line of your index finger. "But my hands are bigger than yours." Soggy rice for dinner? Just remember the 1:2 ratio. You place the pot onto the the stove and wait for the water to boil and cover the pot. "The steam cooks the rice." When is the rice ready? "If you can smell burnt rice, you made rice." You open the lid and smile. We made rice.

sleep and wake

So I have been getting my appetite back. FOOD TASTES SO GOOD. I don't think I will gain weight because I am already so skinny. Later I am going to the store to buy leggings so I can go running. Need to be fit. No need to be skinny or fat. FIT...

Oh yeah. I decided to not pursuit physci major anymore because it is giving me unnecessary stress. I know the material I love what I was learning. It is just that I perhaps care too much about my grades and future. Well anyway what ever major I end up graduating with will make me happy.

About my sleeping schedule.

I am excited about sleeping early and waking early hehe

gray matters

It doesn't matter how you felt. What matters is how you will feel.

today I found out something I wish I never knew.  It would make it so much easier.

Secret Places

Have you ever been to my favorite place in the whole wide world? It got a circular fireplace we can sit around to study when it gets cold. I haven't been there since year one. There is this rooftop balcony you can go to take a nap and pretend that you are at the top of the whole and all your classes are beneath you.  I took a nap there once. Can you found it? Two years ago I went to find the stars at the highest point on campus but I came home with one less star. There is nothing there really just white paint, concrete and daylight. There are benches in the middle of grass fields. Have you been there? Would you believe me if I told you there are tunnels and mazes here, that can unexpectedly take you to your new favorite place? Secret places are meant to be kept but I told you mines. Are they really secrets?

 

MAJOR CHANGES

you will see in time.

I want to say I am thankful meeting another friend today.

Sleeping at Janss Steps

To strangers on that grassy hill: Thank you for watching over me.

Yesterday I was feeling a little sleepy and down and so I went to a place I have never gone on campus and took a nap. I asked a random stranger to watch over me when I was sleeping because I didn't want my stuff to be taken and because I wanted to feel safe. And so I slept on the sloped hills and never have I felt more at peace. I will definitely visit this place more often to appreciate solitude. Solitude is a choice. After my hours of solitude I was able to appreciate how lucky I am to meet so many wonderful people within the last four weeks. Even though few of them knew I was going through a very tough time, their presence nevertheless help me forget my internal turmoils. It is so difficult starting from scratch again. I felt as if the last two years of my life was insignificant and meaningless because I never got to be myself or did the things that make me happy. I was always in my room and avoiding society. Now I am ready to live for myself and be the person I was destined to be. It really helps that I met the right people. You know.. the ones that brings sunshine and hope in my life. Alright I have an exam within an hour. But I just want to say how happy I am to know that someone is watching over me. I am not religious but I really believe someone is watching and looking out for me.

Gravity

Can you stay up and look at the stars with me?



I think the most romantic thing you can be for someone is a star.

Swings

Under the moonlight I taught you how to swings. You told me you are confused, you don't know what to believe. You haven't decided. You are afraid aren't you? "Where would I be without you?" No, you didn't say that but I guess that is close enough. I told you to pick up your legs and kick them high into the air. It is hard for you right? I understand. I got off the swings and pushed you. Are you having fun? Soon you were laughing and smiling and for a moment so was I. "This could be us," I said. Not a chance. Why? No answer. Let's go back. "You know I care." Don't worry about it. We walked back to my front porch and the eyes did not lie. "Why?" No answer. I watched as you walk away. "I am your star," I whispered.

a copycat post

I like this so much (someone else wrote it) I had to post it here.

physci 107 ucla

so scared :(

highlights so the day so far

Morning
- meh woke up too early

- talk to maibro
about alot of random things

- forgive maiua
no response. oh well. At least I care to say something

-talk to my dollarfriend
i learn alot of new things and insights. now i owe my friend a dollar

Afternoon
- raced a stranger while walking to school
he walks too fast
so i told him so

- made new friend in physci
 person who saw me eating alone

- said hello to my starbuckphyscibuddy
aint i so glad to see you

-said hello to physci buddy friend
oh so

new friends new joys new adventures

I am so glad I join citylab. There I met so many like-minded people with very similar personality and quirks. Well, we are not all cookie cutters. I just love how we laugh about the same and just have the fun playful environment you don't see in other organization. It was the first club I am actively involved in and no regrets man. Everything is worth it.

I have to thank all the new friends I made within these past couple of weeks. My life feel so much happier now I have met you girls.

1. girl from physci ls4 ls23l
-wow we have so much in common
2. girl from citylab
-wow we so fun together
3. girl from fb
-so cute and can you be my friend forever?

Cold November

Would you believe if I said I lost someone very dear to me (still alive) and I am in the process of picking up the pieces to rebuilt my life? Can't you tell that my post have been pretty sad and morbid and not as lively and happy as they used to be. Well they have been like this for a while.

Well thank you for reading my blog imaginary readers. It really means a lot of me that there are people who cares about my existence.

Yesterday was the first day of fall and everything is "falling apart". I know. I know. So funny.

For now I am just trying to live my life one day at a time. Life is too precious to to throw away you know. I love my life, everything is good, except for the fact that life is real and sometimes things happen and there is nothing you can do about it.

Happy November 2nd everyone. I will try my best to be happy and do well in life.

http://thoughtcatalog.com/lauren-anne/2014/05/maybe-one-day-someone-will-love-me-in-that-way/

http://thoughtcatalog.com/lauren-anne/2014/06/to-the-guy-i-left-in-the-friend-zone-for-too-long/

much to do. much to pay. much to worry. scary as halloweeen

http://www.7cupsoftea.com/1736307

For the record I have 3 midterms next week. And not only so, 50% of my grade is determined next week. I just really want to do well.

So desperately want a 3.6 or better by the end of Junior so I must work harder.