cross stitching drama

so I am in this cross stitch group on fb with a bunch of these ladies who are much older than me. It is funny how older people also have drama. WELL one lady started drama. and everyone was offend. I was too.

boring-est weekend ever

there is nothing to do.

so

I watch kdrama
read articles on how how to play puzzle and dragons.
play puzzle and dragons
then I play clash of clans
I also did some cross stitching 1inch x 1inch took 2 hours o.o
how I am reading speculations about harry potter
unproductive bc I was too lazy to walk to school to do research. yeah
too lazy to read
still sad about ls1. should have studied harder. I know I didn't fail but I should have remember those tiny details. oh geesh
what else to do until tuesday?
tomorrow wake up early when it is not so hot to go do some experiments. definitely going to to learn some computer programing. read online quiz. read for lab quiz. start studying for the finals. I am scared now. learn ls4 during the 2 weeks break before school. what else? work work work.

idleness is such a drag. I wonder how retired people feel.


Why no essay format and just bullet points? Idk.

here are some links

http://www.puzzledragonx.com/
http://cli.learncodethehardway.org/book/

that is all.

studying and wishing for my battery run out so I can go home

just study!

chances

it is not about whether you get what you want by the end of the day. it is whether you tried or not.

here is a situation.

is it better to tell a dying patient that he or she has 50/50 survival rate or no chance.
well not sure.

let's think about it.

if you are told you have no chance of survival what would you do? YOLO? Do everything you ever wanted and no ragrets? or would you just accept and live your day as in every other day. surely you will be YOLO right? Okay it is totally fine to yolo because even normal people are YOLO sometimes. On the other hand, even though you have been YOLO to live life the way you want. Are you 100% happy or in between the laughter and smile you are dying inside - not literally. happy yet unhappy.

how about if you are told you have a chance. Would you take it? Even if the chance is almost nothing and most likely not be true. Would you still take it? Of course. I would like to believe you want to live a second longer. The main idea is you have a chance. How would you act? Would you still YOLO? OR would you actually be good and follow through with the treatment to possibly make you a little better? Believe you actually have control of your life? Be yourself and not implusively YOLO and actually ruin any possible chance you might have?

What about the outcome? everyone die eventually right?

I can't say which situation will result in a more meaningful life but I do believe that being yourself is best. Are you really a YOLO person to begin with? Or you are the type who just want to enjoy every second of being alive and possibly changing your fate.

no wrong answers here.

honestly you dont need that much

so it is okay.
I won't ask for anything.

just live with what I have.

self reflection

on a scale of 1-10 how do you feel atm?
2

why?
in pain, blisters on my toe, just "feel" mehhhh

what else?
I want to stay up and study

why?
because that is the only thing I am good at.

what else?
I am obsesssed about grades.

why?
because Im premed and because I mess up freshmen year so bad.

do you think not messing up freshmen year would make you a better now?
nope.

why?
bcuz I would mess up now.

are you better at not messing up?
school wise yes.

how? teach me!
when you have nothing to do and you don't want to feel anything you read and study. self fulfillment is a sense of joy.

if you could have anything right now what would it be?
security

why?
you can't never have enough.

goals for the weekend?
1. read for ls1 quiz
2.  study ls1
- do study guide, 2 sections a day
- re-outline packets
- relisten to some lectures
3. take ls1 quiz
4. online activities
5. read for lab quiz
6. art and craft xD

there's no place I'd rather be.

a story about a grain of sand


I am just a piece of sand you know. And before I was a grain of sand I was part of a rock. Not just any old rock, I fell from the sky so you can call me a shooting star. From a star to a grain of star, I was never any happier.

Earth is beautiful you know. It is blue and blue and oh just wonderful. For the first billions of year my life was pretty stagnant things grow things go. Life is life. Nothing really happened until the winds and waves broke me down to my current state: a grain of sand.

Floating in the water is fun I guess. Not when I waited a the bottom of the ocean for something to happen. What happen? No idea. It was just dark.

Nothing really happened until I heard the sound of a boy crying. "there is something in my eye"
"Aww sorry dear you must have gotten sand into your eyes"

So after much crying and scrambling the boy finally stopped crying.
"It is beautiful"

I guess I am.

"Can we keep it?"
"But honey it is a piece of sand"
"you said it is beautiful"
"okay"
 to be continued...

this is going to be what the end of the story gonna be like. spoilers I know.

"I am sorry it took so long for us to be together'
"Not at all. A second with you is more that my entire existence."

back to the basics

so lately I have been feeling pretty crappy.
yeah. It is really sad and I can't do anything about my feelings. So i am just going to study my time away.

I also learn
good grades doesnt bring happiness.

didnt know

this song is korean

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8FtckoU3iUg

wow

goals

you set little goals for yourself everyday and you work hard to achieve before you sleep.
failure is nothing when success is everything


and seriously there is no way to fail you have littles goals every day.

update

what have I been doin with my life

1. got my grades back for session A.
physics A-
biostat A
It is a miracle

2. do you even research?
first day today. I learn how to tether flies. Woah the learning curve just got really really steep

3. ls1
its okay i guess

4. my schedule for the school year kinda sucks.
no life.

stop being so nice to forgive

I forget easily and forgive too fast.
is it mean to just say: no i can't forgive you. like ever and live a life half bitter.
or
believing that you have forgiven and living a life in fear of "when is the next time"

i should just admit the latter and call it a day. there is always splenda.

i found a new game to pay

go google flash flash revolution. hehe it is like ddr but for computer.

tht

i like this song

so i am still craving bacon. boo hoo

worst day ever

1. lost bankcard and cc wow
2. no clothes and need to do laundry
3. phone and laptop = no battery: tears
4. maifriend made me pbnj but i dont like peanuts or jelly
5. allergies from the food. :(
6. waited to buy iclicker = no show

worst day ever.

edit
1. found lost bankcard and cc
2. no quarters for laundry
3. we got battery
4. friend let borrow iclicker

late night shopping for food

so fun :)

bacon

i want bacon now.

today is my birthday

and I feel so happy.
We all have fears but as long as we trust our instinct we will be good right?

Thanks to maifriend and maineighbors who made my day wonderful.