this article is a great read
http://www.doctoroz.com/blog/janine-driver/what-does-your-walk-say-about-you
ps i am a ninja
http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/lifestyle/health-fitness/misophonia-sufferers-tell-how-people-2267950
http://blog.pickcrew.com/why-do-we-have-pet-peeves/
here are mines.
1. walking loudly
-stomping bad
- dragging your feet worst
- pushing your feet what seriously?
2. loud chewing
- hurts my poor ears
3. breathing loudly
i will have a hard breathing if I am focusing on your breathing
4. selfish people
-uggh
5. liars
- pourquoi?!?!?!!
go and catch a falling star
the best thing you can be for someone is a star
Thursday, October 30, 2014
Sunday, October 26, 2014
You study wrong.
-says someone in my physci 107 class - no wonder you didn't do well in your quizzes.
That was really mean. All I said is "your handwriting is messy"- like a doctor's. GG.
well I have 3 midterms next week starting monday so I am going to study.
That was really mean. All I said is "your handwriting is messy"- like a doctor's. GG.
well I have 3 midterms next week starting monday so I am going to study.
that girl
So I got a haircut and I never felt so refreshed. Growing my hair long seems very goal orientated to me. I wanted to have long hair because I want to be "feminine" "girly" basically mold myself to the stereotypical female. Why? I thought this way I would be more accepted. But as time pass by I just want to be myself: strong, independent, and confident. More importantly I want to be me.
Cutting my hair is the first step to be whoever, whatever I want to be. If I want something I make it happen.
There is an art in making "you" you. For example you wear things that matches your personality. Be yourself. Seriously why do people say "fake it til you make it" will that make you happy?
brief interruption. What are you doing now?
Listening to ted talks. It is simply mind blowing. These people insights and thoughts makes my heart flutters with joy and my stomach's butterflies just want to break free.
What happen yesterday?
yesterday I met amazing people.
1. the boy who sat next to me and we studied together
2. the two girls in the left front of me who are so motivating and kind
3. the girl to my right front who was hard working and scared like me
4. the girl in front of me who gave me hope for my future
5. the man who replace person number 3 whose knowledge is so vast
What unites us all? We are all intelligent, hardworking individuals.
What happened yesterday?
I met a boy who I have been thinking of for a very long time. I am not sure how about I feel about it (seeing him). Are you thinking of what I am thinking? I should take the encounter as a project of my subconsciousness.
I swear I see you in a million little faces.
to be continued. because I am studying. because that is what people like me do.
Cutting my hair is the first step to be whoever, whatever I want to be. If I want something I make it happen.
There is an art in making "you" you. For example you wear things that matches your personality. Be yourself. Seriously why do people say "fake it til you make it" will that make you happy?
brief interruption. What are you doing now?
Listening to ted talks. It is simply mind blowing. These people insights and thoughts makes my heart flutters with joy and my stomach's butterflies just want to break free.
What happen yesterday?
yesterday I met amazing people.
1. the boy who sat next to me and we studied together
2. the two girls in the left front of me who are so motivating and kind
3. the girl to my right front who was hard working and scared like me
4. the girl in front of me who gave me hope for my future
5. the man who replace person number 3 whose knowledge is so vast
What unites us all? We are all intelligent, hardworking individuals.
What happened yesterday?
I met a boy who I have been thinking of for a very long time. I am not sure how about I feel about it (seeing him). Are you thinking of what I am thinking? I should take the encounter as a project of my subconsciousness.
I swear I see you in a million little faces.
to be continued. because I am studying. because that is what people like me do.
Wednesday, October 22, 2014
breathing underwater
can you?
I wish I learn how to swim. I believe I am at the perfect stage in my life where I would try to learn anything. (reference bella from new moon)
I am afraid of heights and after using the stairs everyday I have desensitize myself a little.
If I get rid of all my fears. I think I will be able to relax a little more and live a little.
I wish I learn how to swim. I believe I am at the perfect stage in my life where I would try to learn anything. (reference bella from new moon)
I am afraid of heights and after using the stairs everyday I have desensitize myself a little.
If I get rid of all my fears. I think I will be able to relax a little more and live a little.
WOKE UP EARLY TO STUDYYYY
YEAH!
so i first listen to this song in 6th grade and i love it!!!!!!!!!!
geesh the reason why i disinstalled spotify is because I have a whole list of morbid music from 2011. LOL. facepalm. i know.
geesh the reason why i disinstalled spotify is because I have a whole list of morbid music from 2011. LOL. facepalm. i know.
love is not a shiny object
I woke this morning inspired to write a short something about shiny objects. How was sleeping? I slept well. How? Well I was on campus 8am-10pm and I knock out at 2am. FLAT. See? Even if you are feeling the crappiest you still need sleep. Oh yeah I was so happy when all I dreamt about is physci. I am determined to do well in the class. QUIZ TODAY!!!
Last quiz myua told me I got a 16. That is okay right? Nope he says "you need 18+ to even consider getting an A." Alright master I shall buckle up and study.
What will I do after my quiz? I guess I will spent the remainder of my time after 6pm studying for ls4. Because? I can do it! Because I am not dumb.
Anything interesting happened? I want to read this book titled After because it is a story about a complicated, real, college relationship. The type that drives you crazy yet you still continue. Some possible cons: that relationship is toxic and makes you wonder if they are better off not together.
Here goes. Enjoy!
Love is not a shiny object. That means you don't always have to get butterflies or nervous around that person because you are yourself. So no need to feel anymore different than how you feel without that person. I guess you feel happier? Don't worry it is all hormones. I can tell you about dopamine, oxytocin, etc that the body secretes to make you that way. Over time those initial feelings will fade and all you have are memories and yourself to help you continue on...Those chemicals are going to go away so it is always good to have a foundation.
So I am I doing? Waiting for those chemicals to go away of course.
Here is a cute picture of the day.
Last quiz myua told me I got a 16. That is okay right? Nope he says "you need 18+ to even consider getting an A." Alright master I shall buckle up and study.
What will I do after my quiz? I guess I will spent the remainder of my time after 6pm studying for ls4. Because? I can do it! Because I am not dumb.
Anything interesting happened? I want to read this book titled After because it is a story about a complicated, real, college relationship. The type that drives you crazy yet you still continue. Some possible cons: that relationship is toxic and makes you wonder if they are better off not together.
Here goes. Enjoy!
Love is not a shiny object. That means you don't always have to get butterflies or nervous around that person because you are yourself. So no need to feel anymore different than how you feel without that person. I guess you feel happier? Don't worry it is all hormones. I can tell you about dopamine, oxytocin, etc that the body secretes to make you that way. Over time those initial feelings will fade and all you have are memories and yourself to help you continue on...Those chemicals are going to go away so it is always good to have a foundation.
So I am I doing? Waiting for those chemicals to go away of course.
Here is a cute picture of the day.
:) I feel good about myself. Because I am committed to my morals and beliefs: don't do anything that gives you regret, don't hurt others, don't break happy people, and no negative thoughts.
the october november december curse - I miss you
So I will write it here so it will never happen again. Remember future self. If you read this you be smart and live an honest life.
October, November, December 2011. Senior year.
The year everything ended. So does that mean 3 years is max? Freshmen to junior year. or Sophomore to Senior year.
Let's hope this is the last time.
From the sixth grade onwards I had this big big crush on this one guy in my elementary school. It was great. First love. Writing in my diary everyday for 3 years straight because I was too shy to say anything to him. Then I became a creepy stalker. Then I became his friend/tutor. Then I became that special someone. Then everything went downhill senior year.
Weird I never got over the fact about how hurt I was. Yet I forgot all the happy times.
After the first love crashed and burned I was never quite the same. I grew more afraid and paranoid. For the last three years I would question and wonder myself "am I too nice, am I too mean? I should be nicer. No i should be more strict. I should be cautious and be careful of any signs. I should just not care."
Occasionally I would get flashbacks myself three years ago. Zombie like. Miserable I wonder how I survived. Good friends? Thanks friends. No thanks bad friends.
Back to my point. After that year I was never the same. So I got accepted to a really good university, premed. Had my whole life in front of me. Yet I was never myself. The girl before all the madness. The girl with bright dreams and ambitions.
To myself, I have became a monster. Who is that girl? What happen to being independent and strong and why do you need someone to make you feel like you are worth something? Why are you crying and giving up? Nothing destroy your confidence. Not even when daddy told you that you wouldn't get into a good school or when that girl from junior high walked you out to the middle of the soccer field to say "you can't hang out with us." You just said okay and walk to the school library pick up a book and read. And by the end of junior high, the strange A'ss on your report card meant something. You practically read all the books in the library, had a dream of living in the library, being a librarian, attending medical school.Honestly you were alone- independent, unnoticed, but very happy. There was nothing better than a good book and rubrix cube.
I miss you Miss Stayed up all night to read. Miss who never said a bad word. Miss worse fear was getting her book taken away. I miss you.
Back to my point. In college, I lived as the scarred highschool student who never got over what happened senior year. I have trust issues. I don't trust the boys and I definitely don't trust the girls. Sure I was still stubborn, loud yet scared. I masked my fears with my smiles and jokes. I befriended everyone. I wanted friends. I needed friends.
I was everything I wanted to be. I reached my intermediate goals. I am my own hero.
Yet I am still scared, afraid, and paranoid.
Honestly. I never got over the hurt, betrayed feelings of senior year of high school. It has been three years. They are probably together and happy. Meanwhile I lived the past three years missing the person I was six years ago.
So much lie to say I have gotten over it. I am not mad.
I am disappointed. I felt betrayed.
For the next two years I want to be myself again. I will think about what happened in october november december 2011 over and over again. Until I stop feeling angry, afraid, and scared. Then I can be myself.
I miss you.
October, November, December 2011. Senior year.
The year everything ended. So does that mean 3 years is max? Freshmen to junior year. or Sophomore to Senior year.
Let's hope this is the last time.
From the sixth grade onwards I had this big big crush on this one guy in my elementary school. It was great. First love. Writing in my diary everyday for 3 years straight because I was too shy to say anything to him. Then I became a creepy stalker. Then I became his friend/tutor. Then I became that special someone. Then everything went downhill senior year.
Weird I never got over the fact about how hurt I was. Yet I forgot all the happy times.
After the first love crashed and burned I was never quite the same. I grew more afraid and paranoid. For the last three years I would question and wonder myself "am I too nice, am I too mean? I should be nicer. No i should be more strict. I should be cautious and be careful of any signs. I should just not care."
Occasionally I would get flashbacks myself three years ago. Zombie like. Miserable I wonder how I survived. Good friends? Thanks friends. No thanks bad friends.
Back to my point. After that year I was never the same. So I got accepted to a really good university, premed. Had my whole life in front of me. Yet I was never myself. The girl before all the madness. The girl with bright dreams and ambitions.
To myself, I have became a monster. Who is that girl? What happen to being independent and strong and why do you need someone to make you feel like you are worth something? Why are you crying and giving up? Nothing destroy your confidence. Not even when daddy told you that you wouldn't get into a good school or when that girl from junior high walked you out to the middle of the soccer field to say "you can't hang out with us." You just said okay and walk to the school library pick up a book and read. And by the end of junior high, the strange A'ss on your report card meant something. You practically read all the books in the library, had a dream of living in the library, being a librarian, attending medical school.Honestly you were alone- independent, unnoticed, but very happy. There was nothing better than a good book and rubrix cube.
I miss you Miss Stayed up all night to read. Miss who never said a bad word. Miss worse fear was getting her book taken away. I miss you.
Back to my point. In college, I lived as the scarred highschool student who never got over what happened senior year. I have trust issues. I don't trust the boys and I definitely don't trust the girls. Sure I was still stubborn, loud yet scared. I masked my fears with my smiles and jokes. I befriended everyone. I wanted friends. I needed friends.
I was everything I wanted to be. I reached my intermediate goals. I am my own hero.
Yet I am still scared, afraid, and paranoid.
Honestly. I never got over the hurt, betrayed feelings of senior year of high school. It has been three years. They are probably together and happy. Meanwhile I lived the past three years missing the person I was six years ago.
So much lie to say I have gotten over it. I am not mad.
I am disappointed. I felt betrayed.
For the next two years I want to be myself again. I will think about what happened in october november december 2011 over and over again. Until I stop feeling angry, afraid, and scared. Then I can be myself.
I miss you.
Tuesday, October 21, 2014
worst day ever
I say this too much.
Seriously this is.
But on a positive note.
Why I am scared to get to know someone who is "better" than me.
Because.
Like when will I ever be at the level?
Time to study~
Seriously this is.
But on a positive note.
Why I am scared to get to know someone who is "better" than me.
Because.
Like when will I ever be at the level?
Time to study~
Sunday, October 19, 2014
how is life?
stressful?
I have to say Junior year is so far the hardest year ever.
I have to give up some many things ;(
1. korean drama
2. legend of korra (it makes me so sad)
legend of korra is the only show that makes me happy for an entire week
3. delicious food and going home
4. my little brother (does he still remember i exist anymore?)
5. wearing contact lens
6. wearing make up for fun
so when i try to look good one day is because I try to. because I want to. Because I want to feel still like i still have a life
I have to say Junior year is so far the hardest year ever.
I have to give up some many things ;(
1. korean drama
2. legend of korra (it makes me so sad)
legend of korra is the only show that makes me happy for an entire week
3. delicious food and going home
4. my little brother (does he still remember i exist anymore?)
5. wearing contact lens
6. wearing make up for fun
so when i try to look good one day is because I try to. because I want to. Because I want to feel still like i still have a life
My life as a Physiological Science Major
yes that is what I should rename my blog for the next two years. Well maybe for Junior year. How does it feel? Overwhelming, stressful, mini panic attacks when you realize there are more things to study than you thought and you dont have time. No time!!!
Here is my shallow narrow minded analysis of the major.
The people: Everyone is suffering just like me. Unless they are genuis or really good at looking "cool, calm, and collecting"
What is this suffering you may ask?
Every 20 points quiz feels like a midterm.
rewards: I feel like once we all survive physci 107, 111A, 111B we will become great seniors.
whatever i have to go study now.
Here is my shallow narrow minded analysis of the major.
The people: Everyone is suffering just like me. Unless they are genuis or really good at looking "cool, calm, and collecting"
What is this suffering you may ask?
Every 20 points quiz feels like a midterm.
rewards: I feel like once we all survive physci 107, 111A, 111B we will become great seniors.
whatever i have to go study now.
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Friday, October 10, 2014
picture this
A story about one of those lost encounters. The should have, would have, maybe and perhaps all play an important role in shaping who we are now. More likely, we became braver and more daring to make up for those missed opportunities.
Thursday, October 9, 2014
LABELS!
use this link to practice your labeling skills
http://highered.mheducation.com/sites/0072943696/student_view0/chapter8/labeling_exercises.html#
dont go to the links if you don't like brains.
yes they are real
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Images/index-1.jpg
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Part%2011/Images/11-3.jpg
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Part%204/Images/4-4.jpg
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Part%204/Images/4-5.jpg
more study links
http://library.med.utah.edu/WebPath/HISTHTML/NEURANAT/NEURANCA.html
okay that is enough brains for today.
http://highered.mheducation.com/sites/0072943696/student_view0/chapter8/labeling_exercises.html#
dont go to the links if you don't like brains.
yes they are real
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Images/index-1.jpg
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Part%2011/Images/11-3.jpg
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Part%204/Images/4-4.jpg
http://www.radnet.ucla.edu/sections/DINR/Part%204/Images/4-5.jpg
more study links
http://library.med.utah.edu/WebPath/HISTHTML/NEURANAT/NEURANCA.html
okay that is enough brains for today.
Wednesday, October 8, 2014
things to do
2 research labs
2 jobs
2 classes
1 undergraduate assistant
1 health clinic volunteer
+ something important that determines everything
= a girl's struggle to follow her dreams
2 jobs
2 classes
1 undergraduate assistant
1 health clinic volunteer
+ something important that determines everything
= a girl's struggle to follow her dreams
Read this base on the lyrics of "Problem"
no Chinese 1 got my weight off my shoulder
I should be wiser but i realize that
I GOT
one less class to worry
I got one less class to worry
one less
one less
one less
yeah. that is why i am not taking chinese 1 anymore.
I should be wiser but i realize that
I GOT
one less class to worry
I got one less class to worry
one less
one less
one less
yeah. that is why i am not taking chinese 1 anymore.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Friday, October 3, 2014
school finally started!!
let's just say I am taking too many classes. BUT they are so much fun. hehehe so sad i am waitlisted for chinese 1. boohoo.
happy things that happen today
1. friday i dont really have "class'
2. everyday is a learning experience
3. food?
so right now i am enrolled in
physci107
ls4
chinese 1
ls192a
srp 99
last two: fun learning
first two: intensive learning
middle: best of both world
let's hope i get into chinese 1
here is a song
research: I love research I look forward to mondays wednesdays fridays because I am always doing something fun.
human anatomy: no offense it kinda ew but i really like learning how things all work.
thatisall i am studying right now.
happy things that happen today
1. friday i dont really have "class'
2. everyday is a learning experience
3. food?
so right now i am enrolled in
physci107
ls4
chinese 1
ls192a
srp 99
last two: fun learning
first two: intensive learning
middle: best of both world
let's hope i get into chinese 1
here is a song
human anatomy: no offense it kinda ew but i really like learning how things all work.
thatisall i am studying right now.
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